Woman admits she has romantic feelings for her sister’s husband, leading sister to cut ties with her, husband then criticizes her decision: ‘I told my wife to stop treating her so badly’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Jan 25, 2025 9:00 PM EST

Love triangles are the sources for endless drama. books, movies, and reality TV can all thrive on the chaos of one person being caught between two others. It's messy, uncomfortable, and almost always ends with someone crying in a corner while another pretends they're totally fine. 

But when the triangle involves family we get a whole new level of catastrophe. There's no walking away cleanly when the people involved are bound by shared DNA,  decades of history, as well as group chats with great-aunts. 

But today's story has another component, as if this bonfire needed any more fuel. I am of course talking about men who somehow manage to make them worse by being completely, spectacularly oblivious. 

Whether it's our inability to read the room or our misguided attempts to fix things by saying exactly the wrong thing, us dudes really have a special expertise when it comes to turning emotional molehills into fully active volcanos. It's kind of impressive, actually.

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  • "The audacity to say it right infront of your wife, HER SISTER!"
    via Icons8 Photos

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My wife and I have been married for 10 years and together for 12. We have 2 children. My SIL, Jenna, is a single mom as her husband sadly passed away 7 years ago.
    via Kindly_Level788
  • When Jenna's husband passed away, my wife and I provided support for Jenna and her daughter, because it was a really traumatic time for them. Over the years, my wife and I spent a lot of time over at Jenna's house, and
    via Kindly_Level788
  • she would over come over to our house. I also developed a really strong bond with my niece. My wife, my children, and I had a really strong connection with Jenna and her daughter, and we were a really tight knit group.
    via Kindly_Level788

  • The husband who shared this story found himself in hot water after his sister-in-law confessed her feelings for him during what was supposed to be a fun family evening. His wife, understandably furious at her sister’s betrayal, cut all contact with her and expected him to do the same. But instead of standing firmly by his wife, he decided to play mediator, suggesting she should “Stop treating her sister so badly.” Yup, told ya. The levels of tone-deafness on this guy are pretty unbelievable.

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    via Khosro

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That was until a few months ago when Jenna confessed something to both me and my wife. We we were all drink and having a good time, and Jenna kind of just
    via Kindly_Level788
  • blurted out that she developed feelings for me. I was shocked, and Jenna just burst out in tears and said a lot of things like how she was really grateful I was a
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  • father figure to her daughter. I don't really remember too much from that night, except that my wife kicked Jenna out of our house after that.
    via Kindly_Level788
  • My wife and I had a talk about it the next day, and my wife was obviously not happy at all. She said she had suspected this for years, the way Jenna was acting around me, and she couldn't
    via Kindly_Level788
  • believe how Jenna betrayed her like that. My wife said we would cut off all contact with Jenna, and I did accept it. My wife told me to block Jenna, which I did.
    via Kindly_Level788
  • However, I feel like this whole arrangement has been a bit harsh, especially towards my niece. My niece has been texting me a lot, and I've showed my wife
    via Kindly_Level788
  • the texts, telling her it was unfair that we were punishing our niece too. My wife told me it was a consequence of Jenna's actions.
    via Kindly_Level788
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    via cyano66

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • However, last night, when my niece sent a really long and sad text about she and her mom were feeling, I felt really bad and had a talk about it with my wife. I told my wife to stop treating Jenna
    via Kindly_Level788
  • my wife to stop treating Jenna and her daughter so badly, especially after they both went through a traumatic time. I told my wife it was wrong what Jenna
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  • did, but atleast have some sympathy. I told my wife to imagine if she we were in Jenna's shoes, and then one night, tragically lost me. That would scar her for her entire lifetime.
    via Kindly_Level788
  • However, my wife got really sad after I said that and just broke down in tears. She didn't say anything except that she loved me, and she didn't speak to me
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  • the rest of the night. I do feel guilty about what I said, I didn't intend to make my wife feel like this. Was I the AH?
    via Kindly_Level788
  • Hemenucha Stand by your wife and respect her boundaries. Yes, it's very unfair to your niece, but you're not the one who created this situation. Again, stand by your wife.
    via Kindly_Level788
  • Cocoasneeze YTA Your wife's sister is making the moves on you, trying to screw your wife over, and here you are having a go at your wife for cutting her sister off. Your wife can see
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  • the writing on the wall. You chose your wife's sister over your wife. I don't think your marriage can survive this. But hey, you can get with her sister then, so not all is lost for you.
    via Kindly_Level788
  • Beneficial_Prune_386 YTA. You're prioritizing Jenna's feelings over your wife's trust and emotional safety. Your wife is hurt and betrayed not just by her sister's confession but by the fact that you're pushing her to be
    via Beneficial_Prune_386
  • "sympathetic" to someone who crossed a major boundary. Instead of supporting your wife, you're downplaying her pain and asking her to forgive a betrayal she's clearly not ready to process. Stop defending Jenna and focus on rebuilding trust with your wife.
    via Beneficial_Prune_386
  • zarahjeanne Your wife gave nothing but the benefit of doubt to her sister for years and then under the excuse of alcol her sister tested the waters to see if you're receptive. That's the only reason to admit what she did. A normal caring
    via zarahjeanne
  • sister would bury those feelings deep and seek help resolving them. That's not what happened your wife now feels that you're prioritizing her sister and nieces feelings over hers. Yes the niece is an innocent victim in this but that doesn't negate her mother's selfishness. YTA
    via zarahjeanne
  • imdagame92 Yeah you are the AH. Your wife should be your priority in this situation, period, end of discussion. Check yourself and make sure you don't have feelings for your SIL that may be clouding your better judgement.
    via imdagame92
  • NoIntroduction1035 UpdateMe when your wife files for divorce
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  • Flimsy-Subject2052 YTA sounds like you enjoy having your sister in law desire you and wouldn't be surprised if you have feelings back the way you're acting. You aren't concerned too much with your wife's feelings and are prepared to sacrifice her wellbeing to protect Jenna's, not the actions of a man devoted to
    via Flimsy-Subject2052
  • his wife. You are blind not to see Jenna is using her daughter to manipulate a passage back to you, with you fighting for her and not choosing your wife. Hope your wife finds someone better when it all goes to sh, she deserves it.
    via Flimsy-Subject2052

Tags

family drama aita AITAH siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt sister fiancé Father love triangle sister-in-law husband sister in law cheating
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